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Impressions of an ESFj
14 October 2010
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by I/O
She tries to control her immediate situation and environment in order to assure success or security, and she feels most happy and secure when everything and everybody is under control. She's very interactive with people and things around her, and is usually very upbeat and tactile as if she wants immediate and reassuring feedback. She has strong opinions about ethics and propriety, and is not shy about expressing them. However, she takes everything a little too personally; she has admitted to often being hurt by insensitivity and criticism.
She has amassed an extensive set of norms, behaviours, beliefs and morals to which she seems to measure everything and everybody. It's very apparent that she collects information by first comparing it with what she already knows. Knowledge is refined in small increments, and each refinement seems to demand corroboration; she invites second opinions on almost everything even though she already knows the answer. She's admitted that her standards are highly influenced by others and society in general. She asks lots of confirming questions, and can be circular during discussions until she's satisfied that she knows or is certain; she actually cares but others might see it as prying.
For her, the best route to status, success or security is having marketable skills or know-how. She has honed her own natural abilities to perfection becoming capable and self-sufficient, and doesn't mind bragging about it. She's a strong advocate for herself, for those close to her, and for what she feels is proper or her rights. She also likes it when people support her position and for this, she too is very supportive of others. With such a sociable nature, she's excellent at building allegiances, friendships and relationships.
She locks onto things that need doing or resolution like a dog to a bone. She seems to exude expectation and her need for closure makes her persistent, sometimes to the point of annoyance. She often repeats herself or overdoes it; she never seems sure when enough's enough. To say that she's engaging is an understatement. She's very alert to everything that's said or done, and is quite reactionary and sometimes confrontational when something is outside her limits. However, when she was younger, her single-minded, centric nature made her somewhat myopic and susceptible to being blindsided; now she's really cautious - gun-shy.
She likes to produce qualitative output: make comparative decisions, express value judgements, and convince everybody to be comfortable with the decision. She seems to have a knack for understanding the point of view of others and frequently adopts that understanding for herself. She does rationalize based upon values, ethics, feelings and relationships; she also seems to operate well in grey areas, with insufficient information and where expectations are somewhat esoteric. However, she's not comfortable with huge leaps of faith; in fact, she has a burning need to create lists - to have everything mapped out. Uncertainty makes her very uneasy and sometimes panicky.
She easily senses specificity: body language and function, physical properties, behaviour and order. However, she's terrible with direction, hasn't much time for do-nothing theorists and doesn't like the abstract. She sees everything in concrete terms of how it is and how it's displayed. Hence, most planning that she does is focused on minutia; she seems to believe that if one attends to the detail then the system will look after itself. With this same philosophy, she spends lots of time on matters of personal health or wellness for both herself and her family.
She pays very close attention to the opinions and actions of others, which seems to govern her own responses to a large extent. She easily picks up detail about people and their needs but I think she can be blind with respect to herself and her own needs; at times, she's a little too selfless for her own good. Although she can harshly criticize others, she gets a huge amount of satisfaction from making those same people happy.
She views society as hierarchical in nature and looks favourably upon those who behave appropriately for their status; she has a strong need to be accepted by others. I think she defines acceptance as being needed and appreciated; hence, she's highly supportive of others regardless of their status. She tries to be the best at what she does and wants to be perceived as the highest achiever, so in this way, she's rather competitive. Many have told her that she has good taste, and this seems to please her. She tries her hardest, displays her finest and modifies her own behaviour to appear worthy; she has an excellent eye for what would garner approval.
Work wise, she's quite organized and practical, good at adapting her know-how to day-to-day problems. She's dutiful respecting rules and authority, and thinks that others should do so as well. She's a doer who can endure much hardship to make sure things get done. She's predictable and dependable preferring to do things in established ways; she's not a risk taker. She values stability, has a strong focus on detail, and wants to make everyone agreeable. She likes supervising and mentoring people to ensure any endeavours are undertaken properly. If people are erring or misbehaving, she has an immediate urge to correct them.
She's warm and enthusiastic; she appears motivated more by enthusiasm than by expectations. However, a certain amount of impatience lurks just beneath the surface so sometimes she reacts before she thinks. She seems propelled by nervous energy - is often in a hurry, worried or having something on the burner, which could be why she needs lots of sleep. She's hurt by indifference and unkindness - exclusion. She says that she feels warm inside when others approve of her.
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